I am the grinch

It’s almost Christmas time, agh this time of year really annoys and irritates me. All the Christmas Carolers annoy me. When I walk past them at the mall I just want to scream.
” shut up! No one wants to hear your shitty music.”

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I don’t actually say it. I keep ALOT to my self. I think i want to spend these holidays alone.
” but what about the tamales and other good food?”
id be just as happy with a hamburger from wendys.But I know what your thinking
” this girl is the grinch.” Maybe it’s because for all the Christmases that I’ve lived through have been ruined.
My family does things different than most family’s. As you know Christmas is a time where someone is surrounded by family and friends, while enjoying quality time together. My family goes their separate ways for Christmas, and I hate it. My mom,sisters ,brother and I go with my moms side of the family, while my father goes with his sisters. Sometimes my brother and some cousins don’t even go because My family talks to much shit. I actually feel very uncomfortable with my own family. I just sit in a little corner alone and upset.

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I don’t get presents because since most of my family don’t have papers they don’t get paid a lot. Our tree actually looks beautiful, just very lonely.

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At about nine my father starts bitching at my mom to get home, and when we do my parents start fighting and arguing.

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They yell some very intense stuff. Stuff I wish I could forget that they said to each other. I don’t think that they know that the stuff they do could really traumatize me. But finally the night ends with me crying myself to sleep.

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And repeat for New Years. These are my ” happy holidays.”

The Forgotten Siblings

I love this

Olivia Caldwell Foundation Blog

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As most of you know, Olivia is a twin. Her brother Wyatt was born exactly one minute before her and he has taken on the big brother role ever since. Their bond formed immediately, long before they left my womb. During our 20 week ultrasound we saw Wyatt kicking around like a wild man and Olivia holding on to his leg as if she was saying “relax, brother.” This was exactly how their relationship was for the 20 months they had together on this earth. Wyatt was wild and outgoing. Olivia was a soft spirit and incredibly calm. Nothing fazed her.

After Olivia got cancer, Wyatt became her protector. He seemed to know instantly that his sister was sick and he needed to care for her. We never could’ve expected this from such a young child. He would bring her toys, hold her hand, bring her a pacifier, push her…

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Rival

A minute of silence is all I ask for, a minute of your time wouldn’t be much for you to find out that my soul is dyeing . It’s dyeing, you got confused oh didn’t know what you wanted. Don’t even try to say you miss me, because you’re ths reason I’m gone.
I’d rather live a thousand years without you than to spend them like this.
You were the love of my life, and talking clearly, I’m not going to lie. I feel the exact same you do. Confusion, sorrow and madness.
Our relationship is like a storm that will go on, and I’m drowning in the ocean. It be a bit absurd to I agree.
You wanna stay together but
Why keep making more damage than to what has already been done?
Living by your side like this isn’t normal.
I look for peace and you are a temptation.
I’d rather be expired and be done with this.
You started converting me into someone I never wanted to be. Which made me the antagonist. I got lost In your maze that today I want to get out of.

Today.

Today, I am stronger
I can tell you I’m doing fine without you.
I can finally smile.
I finally listened to voice inside my head telling me we’re no good.
I’m going to let you walk away like every day I said I would.
You only brought me tears and sorrow.
I’m not gonna break Down and call you up when my heart cries out for you,
And when I see you I’m not going to talk to you no matter how bad I want to.
If you still love me don’t let me know, just run away before I know. My heart is just to dark to care.