The walls are coming in closer, I run to leave the room,but the door has slammed and locked, there are voices in my head talking, yelling and whispering. I fall to my Knees, gasping for air. My stomach is in knots. I kneed to get out but how?
” I’m in danger, something bad is about to happen.” These thoughts bounce around In my head while in panicking.
Of course it only last a couple of minutes. Yep you guessed it anxiety attacks. My anxiety attacks are Terrible. Although I’ve had the since I was twelve years old. They are un treated, which is probably bad, but sometimes I have financial concerns.
My anxiety attacks go unknown too. My family doesn’t care they just think I’m crazy.
My anxiety attacks, suck the life out of me, it prevents me from going out because I feel like something bad is going to happen although nothing ever does. They happen every day, once a day.
Sometimes I get really scared like Imma die. Although of course you never really know it’s gonna happen. They say its when you least expect it. As a kid I constantly thought about how I was gonna die, and how it is. am I going to heaven or hell?
The fan above my bed as a child would wiggle every time I turned it on, I would worry that it would fall off and it would chop me into little pieces or a while I was playing with the grand piano at our house one of the strings inside would get out and slit my throat. As you can see I was very creative, bet you never thought of that one. At eight years old these were my thoughts……..death. Not your usual every day thoughts huh, but to this day I still worry about death and that’s my number one fear.
I guess you can never really know when your time has come, death can knock on my front door and I would even know.
Grrrrr my problem is I think to much, believe it or not I’m at my best when In not thinking.